hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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