she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
