when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize