The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
