When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
