i need an iv and a liver transplant
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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