Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
