My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
