she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
