Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
