I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
