Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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