Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
