I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
