I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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