I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize