Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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