dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
