why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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