I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
