I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
