is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
