im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
