ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I feel like abortions should bother me more
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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