yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it's great music for shaving your balls
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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