She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we're making bets on your personal life
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
