Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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