Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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