It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize