it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
