google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
