I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize