I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
