So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Randomize