is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
