I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
