She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
false alarm. still invincible.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
