bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
