4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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