Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
