If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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