a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
