This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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