she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How's work?
Spinning.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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