just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
