I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
