we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
