if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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