I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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