Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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