did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
