The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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