I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
