Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
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