We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
