how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
