you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
